All children experience a range of powerful emotions and an emotion very common for children to experience is anxiety. Anxiety is a normal part of childhood especially when children navigate a series of physical and emotional changes. It can be worrying when your child presents with anxiety, but with understanding, consistency, and the right tools you can support your child through those anxious moments.
Anxiety can present in many ways, sometimes manifesting as physical, emotional, social symptoms, or a combination of them. Whether it’s difficulty sleeping, nausea, worrying about school, stomach aches or sudden meltdowns; one thing is for sure is that anxiety can feel overwhelming. According to the Mental Health Foundation, as many as 8 to 11% of children and adolescents suffer from anxiety that affects their ability to get on with their lives. It’s important for parents to reassure their child that everything is going to be ok and that they are there to support them every step of the way.
Are you looking for ways to support your child with their anxiety? Here’s a useful guide to help you navigate your child’s anxiety with confidence and compassion.
Help your child to name the emotions that they are feeling
Sometimes children feel overwhelmed because they’re unable to articulate what is happening inside them. They may be experiencing various emotions such as anger, fear, worry or frustration, but getting them to name these emotions can give them power over it.
Here are a few helpful prompts that you can use:
- “Where do you feel the worry in your body?”
- “If your anxiety had a shape or colour, what would it be?”
- “What does your tummy feel like - calm, fluttery, wiggly, knotted?”
These prompts give children the ability to build emotional literacy, while also reducing the intensity of their emotions.
Use calming tools
There are a few child-friendly techniques that you can use to help keep your child calm and relaxed. These include:
- The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method (identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste)
- Rainbow breathing (inhale in one colour, exhale on the next)
- Worry time (set aside 10 minutes to talk about worries intentionally)
- A “coping corner” stocked with soothing items or sensory tools
With consistent practice of these methods, your child can begin to do these on their own.
Teach skills, not avoidance
Children can find short-term relief from their anxiety by skipping certain activities or events. However this can strengthen anxiety in the long term.
Instead, help them to:
- Break challenges into small steps
- Celebrate effort, not outcome
- Teach coping skills like breathing techniques, grounding exercises, or positive self-talk
With consistent support, you’ll be helping your child to build a toolbox of skills that they can use for life.
Validate their feelings
When a child is feeling anxious, it’s tempting to reassure them with statements like “there’s nothing to worry about”. This statement may help a child to feel slightly calmer, however their anxiety is very real and will most likely still be present.
Try responding with:
- “I can see this is really scary for you.”
- “It makes sense that you feel nervous about this.”
- “I would feel that way too if that happened to me.”
- “You’re safe, even with this big feeling.”
These statements communicate to your child that you hear the anxiety and worry and creates a safe space for them to express their emotions - however intense they may be. Validation doesn’t reinforce anxiety, it gives your child the reassurance that they’re not alone.
Seek professional support when needed
If your child’s anxiety interferes with their daily life over a long period of time, perhaps causing disruption to their sleep, school attendance, enjoyment of activities etc, then it may be worth seeking professional support. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not failure.
Here at Holding Space, we offer parent peer support to parents and carers whose children are struggling with their mental health. Book a 1-2-1 appointment with one of our Parent Peer Support Workers, who are here to support you using their own lived experience.
We also offer coffee mornings and workshops where you can connect and talk to other parents and carers about similar challenges that they may be facing. We even have workshops that focus specifically on key topics such as anxiety and stress, so do keep a look out for new dates that are added to our website.
Both our coffee mornings and workshops are a great opportunity to share and learn techniques and suggestions with other parents and carers on how to navigate and manage a child’s anxiety.
It’s important to remember that you are not alone and we are here to support you with this complex journey.
Contact us today on 01323 315005, send us an email to hello@holdingspace.org.uk, or make a self-referral for our services.
