The mounting pressure on mums and dads to be perfect, to get it all right, all the time is formidable. As a parent, you’re faced with obstacles and boundaries testing your limits and patience at every corner. But parenting isn’t an exact science. Your job isn’t to raise perfect kids – it’s to raise children who are kind, resilient, and happy.
Just like you don’t expect your child to be flawless, it’s time to let go of that expectation for yourself. So, if you yelled this morning, forgot to pack the lunch, or got the school uniform in the wash a day too late, you’re still doing a great job.
Social Media Isn’t Helping
Social media often fuels the idea that we need to do more or do it better. It’s a highlight reel that leads us to compare ourselves unfairly and feel like we’re falling short. But comparison is the thief of joy, and social media paints an unrealistic narrative to strive for.
The reality is parenting is messy, loud, and unpredictable. But it’s also full of joy, connection, and moments that warm your heart. Moments to be proud of.
What Makes a “Good Parent”?
If you're reading this, it already shows you're a good enough parent because you care. Every parent worries they’re getting it wrong at times. But research shows that children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who are present and responsive.
You’ll miss a pickup. You’ll forget a promise. You’ll snap. What matters is what happens next. Apologise, learn from it, and move on. Children are resilient, and they need to experience small disappointments and recover from them. It’s how they grow.
Trying to be perfect is exhausting – and if it’s not making you happy, it’s unlikely to be helping your child either.
Children often thrive when we step back and let them take more responsibility. Let them make their own lunch, get themselves ready, and take the lead sometimes. Growing up is a bumpy journey, but just as you found your way through, they will too.
So if you’re worried about being perfect take a moment to stop and reflect. Your presence, your willingness to listen and learn, and your love are more than enough.
What Triggers Parental Guilt?
Parental guilt might sound like a voice saying:
- “I’m not doing enough.”
- “I’m doing it wrong.”
- “I’m messing them up for life.”
Maybe it’s when you catch yourself scrolling your phone instead of being present. Or when you snap after a long day. It’s normal. But guilt doesn’t make us better parents – it just gets in the way.
No one’s judging you as much as you might think. And just so you know: other parents don’t have it all together either. Promise.
So What Can You Do?
- Lower the bar – There’s nothing wrong with being an ordinary, good-enough parent. Really.
- Set boundaries – Say no when you need to. You don’t have to please other parents – they’re busy parenting their own kids.
- Trust your gut – You know your children. You don’t need anyone’s approval.
- Be kind to yourself – Mistakes are a regular part of life. Everyone makes them. What matters is how you respond.
- Let go, a little – Give your children space to do things for themselves. It builds confidence, resilience, and independence.
You and your kids will make mistakes – that’s life. When you acknowledge the mistakes and make amends, that’s when you can move forward.
If You’re Struggling
Sometimes the guilt, stress or pressure builds up, and it helps to talk. Holding Space provides a safe and non-judgmental space where you can receive the support you need, knowing you are not alone. We offer a range of support, including coffee mornings, workshops, and events. Contact us today to find out more.
