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It was great to meet you and hopefully give you some valuable feedback! To keep my story as short as possible my daughter from the age of 14 wasn’t coping with school and found it difficult to make any friends! She was running away from home a lot! Self harming, smoking,taking drugs, hanging around with the wrong type of people! She tried to take her life a couple of times! We were referred to Camhs! They were useless! Blaming it on us as parents and not getting to the root of the problem!We had 3 social workers who didn’t really help the situation! She was first admitted to chalk hill hospital but as it was a open unit she was able to come and go as she pleased! And ended up overdosing! And then got admitted to the priory in ticehurst where she was diagnosed with mental health issues asd/adhd and was kept there up to 9 months! She is now 18 living independently but has her good days and bad days! She is now having therapy through st Mary’s house and is on mood stabilisers.
Stigma is a double-headed beast, existing as public and self-stigma. Engagement with negative attitudes (prejudice) and/or adverse behaviour (discrimination) is known as public stigma. Self-stigma is how the individual sees their own mental health often from a warped perspective.
It was self-stigma that affected me most. It crept up on me so silently that for such a long time I didn’t even realise it was happening. In fact, I was the last one to acknowledge it.
My ingrained work ethic just told me to work harder and harder and harder despite my growing mountain of self-doubt, anxiety and negative self-worth. Any sort of failure just wasn’t possible. I had judged myself and found myself to be lacking against what I thought society expected.
Unconsciously, I had entered a self-destructive cycle of hiding the truth.
Inevitably, my bouts of depression and my inability to recharge finally overwhelmed me and I had a nervous breakdown requiring medication and hospitalisation. I was discharged from hospital full of theory and exercises but didn’t buy-in, I still felt shame and guilt at admitting to not being well.
Things continued as before, and guess what? Fast forward several years and I had a bigger, more debilitating breakdown. This time it was different, I couldn’t put my previous episodes down to life distress or a one-off never to be repeated circumstance. I was ill.
For the first time ever, I availed of one-to-one counselling. Most significantly, I began to talk to others around me about what was currently happening and what had occurred in the past. This is still part of my recovery today, in fact, I now need to watch that I don’t over share and listen more than I talk!
I had put myself on a bumpy road while all along there was an easier way, but I wasn’t open to acknowledging I needed help. I now know and promote that “its OK not to be OK”.
I first contacted Holding Space to discuss the deteriorating behaviour of my five year old granddaughter. She was becoming fearful that life would never be the same, the virus would never go away and was prone to break into tears at will. In addition she started to do unusual things (for her) such as draw on the walls of her Mothers house.
Holding Space came up with some simple bePersohavioural tips that were easy to implement by us and her Mum. These included looking at her drawings, encouraging her to talk and to really listen to what she said. She has a great knack of making up songs and when we listened to her it was clear she was singing about her mindset at the time. Likewise Holding Space recommended some great reading material for us to use with her.
Simply put we went from a worried and concerned thought process into a series of actions that gave us a plan to support our granddaughter through these troubling times.
Back in early 2020 I was put in contact with Hansa from holding space with regards to my then 8 year old son. The pandemic had taken its toll on him and as a parent I was at a loose end not knowing what else I could do to help and support him. He wouldn’t go out of the house, sleep alone, kept lashing out and at its very worse said he didn’t want to live anymore. The team and support I received was overwhelming. I was offered the support I needed to be able to support my son. Referred to resources like books and had calls from the team regularly. Can I just add the recommended books for anxiety/worry were fabulous. I highly recommend getting in contact with the team if you or anyone has any concerns they are so approachable and happy to work with you. I’m pleased to say a year on I no longer need their services and my son is the kindest most loving boy again. He is back to sleeping in his own room and we have had no issues of anger in the last 3 months. Huge thank you to you all.